Learning to Live Past Desire

A while back, as I was preparing to have some scrumptious wheat pancakes my wife had made, I heated up some water and surveyed the available tea bags I had in a plastic storage bag. I stuck my hand inside the bag, turned my head, and shuffled the assorted bags around. What emerged? A pomegranate flavored tea! As I sat enjoying breakfast it struck me that many times in our lives we would prefer to have what we would prefer to have…We gravitate to the things, situations, people, verses, etc. that make us comfortable or otherwise are enjoyable to us. Now I happen to like pomegranate tea, but for the record there were in fact teas available in the plastic bag (like Earl Grey, ugh!) that I don’t particularly like.

So as I pondered the application of what I had just done, not that I by any means always choose what I don’t like, I thought, “It is perhaps a very good thing to not always get what you want.” 

Of course the apostle Paul said, “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:11-13, NASB).

Now I am by no means suffering, even when I drink Earl Grey tea. I mean, those of us who are parents (if you are at all like me) observe how entitled many children seem to be at this present time in America. Many of us adults can also live very sheltered, and entitled lives. It is good to be grateful for tea to drink. I thank God I have a sweetener to put in my tea. Thank you, Lord, for a cup and water. Thank you, Lord, that I have a chair to sit in (no matter how uncomfortable it is) while I drink this tea…

I happen to be of the opinion that intentionally denying ourselves those things we want, sometimes can actually have spiritual benefit. Gratefulness, thankfulness, simplicity, acceptance, meditation, deliberation, thoughtfulness, these are some of the words that spring to my mind as I consider that this life is really not about me at all…part of living should include how I function with what is given me (Luke 12:48). My lot in life is not your lot.

The cards in your deck are better than mine! (I am now electronically weeping, can you tell?) How do I live after tragedy strikes? Sure, I can speak of something as small as what tea to drink today, I can choose cinnamon, chamomile, etc. but what about the person who cannot choose to not be blind? What about the woman who did not choose to be raped? Or the boy who did not choose to be molested and abandoned? Or what about the man who did not choose to have his wife walk out on him? How are we supposed to deal with these things and continue to make progress in life? 

Surely if there is anything we can choose, we can choose how we will respond to the undesirable and uncontrollable things that happen to us.

When my mother was murdered, all kinds of things swirled in my head. As I stood outside of the house with family, there was talk of going after the man who killed her. I could choose to be angry, I could seek revenge, I could not want to live and do something towards that end, or…maybe there was another way? Could I forgive? How could God ask me (tell me) to do such a thing at that time? Could I choose, despite the utter anguish, to let…it…go? Could I choose to break the cycle of violence? Yes, I could. 

God knew I knew the truth of what to do and He would not permit me to act as if I had a right to do otherwise…Did my anger go away, not immediately. But with reliance more and more on Christ, I did learn to let Him have my turmoil, let Him have my complaints, and He was able to deliver me from the desire to kill.

We desire many things in life. Some of us want to be thinner and by choosing to eat and exercise differently, this can become a reality. Some of us want to learn a foreign language or want to go back to school, and by work and perseverance, we do it. Then there are those of us who want but don’t acquire because all we do is want. What does James 1:2-8 say: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways (ESV).

The testing of your faith…hmmm, what a concept. You mean there are some things I simply have to go through? Yep, that’s right. Many of them may be downright tragic, but guess what? You can’t stop them from coming. When they come (and they will) what are you going to do about them?

I don’t want to be insensitive and just say get over whatever happens; that’s not what I mean and there’s nothing loving about that approach. But my prayer is that you find grace, peace, a measure of consolation and perseverance, and love from God and true friendship from real friends. I just happen to think a little Earl Grey here and there will lessen things a bit when the time comes, whether you choose it or not. But especially when you don’t choose it.

And don’t ever stop reading your Word. Peace.